You know how I’m a single and working and have an eight year old girl? Well, yesterday, all that came over me like a tsunami and I lost it in front of my daughter. It was a terrible moment for me and I wish she hadn’t seen it. But since it happened and she did see me, I have to deal with it. I just hope that when she’s all grown and her own woman, if she remembers that day at all, she’ll also remember that we don’t have days like that very often. And that mommy tried very hard to keep it together.
I left the office early yesterday. I didn’t go straight home though. I went to a friend’s house first to measure the furniture that I’m buying off of her. I’m very excited about the furniture because I’ve been wanting to buy these pieces for a long time. Anyway, so I come home after the side trip and I get greeted by a great big mess. Toys and school stuff on the floor and all over the carpet, spilt milk on the kitchen table and dirty dishes in the sink. I used to have a maid but had to let her go because she’d left my daughter alone in the house a few times which for me is a very big NO. Now I’m getting a little used to seeing this kind of mess in my house when I get home but it didn’t bug me all that much because my daughter tries very hard to make the least amount of mess as she can manage.
I was grumbling while I was cleaning up and didn’t realise I was throwing the plates around until I broke one. I was so upset that I broke it I just stood there for about a minute saying “I broke the plate” over and over. I don’t know why but I almost cried. Then I felt the warm, loving and re-assuring arms of my daughter hugging me from behind. She voiced softly to me “It’s alright Mom, it’s alright.”
I think at that moment, my daughter showed more maturity than I did and I will never forget it.
I realised I was getting older when people stopped referring to me as Miss and started calling me Ma’am. Isn’t that amazing? It’s all the same; in the grocery, on the train to work, at the cinemas. It’s like they had a general assembly and discussed that “henceforth, she shall be called Ma’am.”
I’ve also found out just recently that the muffin I ate this morning will become part of the muffin top forming around my waist. The bag of Cheetos I had while watching TV will contribute greatly to the flab in my arms in a few days. (I seriously think I’m beginning to gain aeronautic advantage!) This used to never happen. I can eat anything and not gain a pound or an inch.
Is this what being thirty does to you? I want my twenties back. 😦